Saturday, March 19, 2016

Crazy Sentences for Meaningful Phrases

So, I live in Japan.

And I'm a native English speaker.

And I went to Japan schools.

And, we had English class.

And in English class, we had to learn phrases. The way we learned it was through a little phrase book that had the phrases and then a sample sentence.

Here are some of the (slightly pointless) sentences that Japan thought would be good for students to use to understand the phrases.

But now,


 
I can't just list up phrases! That would be oh so boring! :0

I'm gonna respond to them, yeah! :D

Okay, go!

1. One animals species eats another animal species, which, in turn, eats still another.

It's the CIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIFE!!!


2. I was wondering how on earth I was going to go through the evening.

Take a deeeep breath, breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out....
Scratch that, just PANIC!




3. At the time, Holland was the best soccer-playing country on earth.

Is it still now? I hope so, otherwise people and Holland are gonna come find me and play pranks on me.


4. Not wishing to do such a difficult task on his own, Tom asked his brother Tim to help him.

But Tim couldn't get it done on Time :P  Tim Time.
Even if something is difficult, try doing it yourself first.


5. On the other hand, we behave quite differently from other animals.

What is the hand before that hand? That we are EXACTLY LIKE animals? Woof woof?


6. When I didn't come home on time, my parents worried and phoned the library.

They were obviously stupid because they didn't phone the police. I was abducted by aliens by the time they thought of phoning the police.


7. His wife described her husband as a "difficult" man.

Her husband described his wife as a "difficult" woman. They got divorced the following year, each found an "easy-going" partner.

"His wife described her husband" is such a confusing phrase. His wife. Who? Oh, the HUSBAND'S wife. Can't it just be "She described her husband"? His wife, just out of context like that makes NO SENSE. Da heck is he? I have no idea.


8. The Chinese used to bind women's feet because they regarded small feet as beautiful.

Don't call me out Chinese people. This is just a stupid sentence in a stupid Japanese English-phrase textbook.


9. Even today many foreigners see the Japanese as a hard-working people.

EVEN today. Today as in 2016. Today as in this very moment on Earth in the Galaxy in the Universe in the Timeline of the Present of this Second in the Moment of the Space Time Continuum and the Future and the Past and the Sometime Later in the Day or the Night and the Everything In Between....idk what I just wrote :P


10. We usually think of summer as a time of fun and vacation.

USUALLY we do. Sometimes we don't. I mean, not EVERY SINGLE HUMAN ON EARTH takes summer off, right? If we did that, the economy would probably stall or we'll be overrun by aliens or a disease will spread but since EVERY SINGLE HUMAN ON EARTH is on vacation, we all end up dying and then the Earth gets so lonely that it goes out to visit that Exoplanet somewhere 50 or so light years away and the solar system crumbles and becomes a giant black hole.

This is why we can't ALL take a summer vacation and have fun.

We must keep the Earth in the solar system so that everything is nicely balanced and stuff.


11. Some U.S. teenagers view parent-controlled cell phones as a chain.

More like a leash, I think. But are the current iPhones and other smartphones "leashed"? I know with jailbreaking, you can kinda get away with things.


12. What do you think are the factors that prevent us from thinking clearly?

Well, that question is one of the factors, I think, that prevents us from thinking clearly, I suppose, perhaps, maybe, possibly, could be, might, big "IF".


Well, I turned over my little practice paper to discover EVEN MORE phrases and sentences.

I'm not gonna do all of them here.

Probably make a Part 2.

Hope you thought it was weird and funny or just plain strange and exotic or something like that.

See ya later, alligators! :D

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