Sunday, February 14, 2016

In Which Things Are Unsettling

If you are an only child, chances are you will lose in an argument once the parent that most always takes your side, takes their spouse's side instead.

If you are an only child, and your parents are overprotective, chances are you will not be able to go where you want to go as long as you are at home without a driver's license, because where you go to school, you don't need a driver's license.

If your father is a professor, chances are your "good enough" is not "good enough" for him no matter how hard you try. Even if you know he means well, you still feel down in the dumps under pressure every time he asks you an academic question.

If your father is a professor and your mother is a high school student and most of your friends are working while you are still going to school, chances are your parents will bog down on every little thing you do because "Your friend so and so is getting up at 7:30 every morning to go to work. If you were working, you would get fired."  You will try to desperately hold your tongue to prevent yourself from firing back saying "Well the teachers would probably kick me out of school and I would get expelled if I didn't make it on time to class. Cut me some slack, it doesn't have to be too much, when I am at home. I'm a night owl, okay?"

If your father wants to eat stake, which you don't like, and if you are an only child, chances are you will have to eat it too because the husband always wins over the child in the case of a relationship between parents that is some times so weirdly peaceful it gets freaky.

If you are an only child, and your parents are weirdly goochy, chances are you will hear the same inside joke for years because apparently, they NEVER get tired of it. And, your mother will continuously praise your father over the smallest things when she only praises you if you get up on time. Praising is different from complimenting, okay? Let's talk about this next.

No comments:

Post a Comment