When I was bullied in junior high (second year when I was 14), so many terrible mentally hurtful things happened.
I had no friends in my class.
Girls laughed and whispered about me.
Boys poked fun at me.
I didn't do anything wrong...well, I'll admit that part of the "incident" was my fault but basically it was this third person.
A boy kicked my desk causing it to almost fall.
Girls said to each other, loud and clear,
that they were sorry about it all but that it was FUN TO WATCH. Now that is the moment I realized no one was going to come to my aid. I was on my own. For a while. I did tell my parents about it. I don't remember how I told them or to what degree but I did tell them and then the teacher made the boy say sorry to me. Though I will forgive him, I will not forget.
I know bullying isn't something that happened only to me at that delicate age of 14.
My friend from the class next door was also getting bullied and was alienated in her classroom. But she dealt with it differently than I did. She didn't care. She did not care what people thought of her and did as she pleased.
She would go up to the blackboard and start drawing pictures and I was the one all worried that she would be made fun of. But she really didn't care. She went on boldly and soon I began to follow her bold footsteps.
Later in my third year of junior high (Japan has three years of junior high and three years of high school)...
In a class we were supposed to look up about a country we would like to visit some day and learn to say a few things in that language.
I WANTED TO GO TO MADAGASCAR!
Because MADAGASCAR IS SO FRICKIN AMAZING ALRIGHT!
Ha :P Yeah it is. Look it up. Zoboomafoo is from MADAGASCAR :)
"mada" means "not yet" or "still" in Japanese. So I readied myself for people to make fun about the fact that my choice of country wasn't Italy or Spain or Russia or China or Korea or America or one of those "typical" places.
I thought up a thing where I would say
"It's not piscar yet. It's still gascar now." So, "mada"gascar would mean "still" gascar. I was going to do that because I already heard whispers when I told the teacher my choice was Madagascar. Not positive whispers but negative ones.
The way out of "it" was to make fun of myself deliberately. "It" was potential exclusion from the class, made fun of, poked at, alienation, no more friends except that one girl from my second year and probably the boy I liked would never EVER see me as a good person.
So from that day on, I decided to make fun before I was made fun of.
I get lost easily even with GPS. I joke about it.
People say oh you're so tall! (In Japan I am). I say "Yep I'm a giantess! Haha!"
I don't like fish (When most in Japan do). I say "Well, that's a Japanese thing and I'm not exactly all Japanese here, teehee."
"Sometimes I forget which direction the sun sets! hahaha"
"I can't take spicy things! Not even pepper! Can you believe it? Hahaha"
"I'm tall and my legs are long but I SUCK at running. I don't think humans are made to run, hahaha"
Everything I do, if it looks like not everyone does it, I would find a way to make a funny out of it.
Tensions are eased and sometimes I even deliberately use that funny as a way to start a new conversation topic with someone.
I like Pokemon movies. So what. Adults made them so why can't adults like them? Things like that. I guess these aren't really joke-y but they do sort of poke fun at me, right? I mean, in Japan, Pokemon is for little kids.
Let's get back on track.
* * *
I know that laughing in your own face isn't gonna be easy for everybody. But if you can learn to take it lightly, you would feel much better and you would also get to throw the potential bullier off.
They expect you to look all sad or angry about it but when they see you laughing and joking along with them and even making the joke bigger and better, they may stop bullying you.
You are laughing, not crying, therefore, it is not interesting for them. Bullies are usually jealous, have harsh lives at home, are super spoiled, or they are psychopaths. Bullies can be one of these or, in the worst case, all of them.
I know that standing up to bullying is hard. I know it.
But if you can try to look at the light side, twist their words and make it funny...I mean it IS funny that I get lost even with a GPS :P...then your lives will be a bit brighter.
Never feel like you are alone. I was LUCKY, in a sort of bad sense, that my friend from another class was going through a similar thing. We never really talked about what went on in our individual classrooms but we were definitely there for each other.
You are not alone. It's probably true that more than half of the population on Earth has suffered from bullying. Even bullies have suffered from bullying in one way or another.
We are victims but either you act like a victim and hide in your shell and feel horrible, or you stand up against it with your torn shield and battered sword and say "I will not give up". If you are going through bullying now, I know. I get you guys out there.
Here's a little secret (and I'm feeling a little emotionally shaky as I type it):
I still suffer from the bullying.
I'm 23 now.
It still bothers me, what those stupid kids did when we were all 14. I also had trouble when I was in my first year. But at that time, I had friends in my class so it wasn't THAT bad. But it was still not very good either. I still remember all the details...
See? I still suffer from it. Never really healed even though I kinda believed I was.
Oh heck, I hate this negativity!
The past is in the past, the past is in the past, the past is in the past...
Let's be happy. Positive. Here:
The cat in the last pic XD
On that note, see ya later, alligators! :D
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