In Which a "Praise" is Different From a "Compliment": Basically a Rant

A praise sounds like this:
"You did a really good job mowing the lawn!"
or
"That's a really good idea."

A compliment sounds like this:
"You look really nice today in that new shirt you bought!"



Okay, let me use my parents as my guinea pigs.

M for Mom and Alligator for me and D for ole Dads.




Scene 1: Over-complimenting (repeat every morning and every evening)

M: Whoa! Look at those muscles! You look good!

D: *flexes muscles that M has seen hundreds of times before*

M: Muscle man!

D: *continues doing shower things*

Alligator: *in the living room when they are in the shower room area* *wonders why M thinks D's muscles are so WOW when she's already seen them countless times and it's not like they've changed much at all*





Scene 2: Zero Effort = A compliment. Effort = Doesn't Even Notice (repeat at times M notices Alligator's outfit)

M: You look nice!

Alligator: *nods a "sure"* *wonders why she is saying it when I made zero effort to look nice* *just a shirt and a pair of jeans* *when I actually do put effort in, I basically have to ask her how it looks because she won't say anything when I've tried some different thing unless I make a big deal about it*





Scene 3: Over-praising (repeat many times during a discussion about anything)

D: *says some idea he had*

M: *nods EXTREMELY impressed kind of way* Yes, yes, uh huh. That's a really good point, thank you! You cleared it up for me so much I was having so much trouble thank you!

Alligator: *wonders why she is so extremely impressed when it's almost often not that impressive and typically obvious to anyone*

M: *looks to me* Your father has a good point here *begins to summarize what he just said*

Alligator: *has to listen even though I understood even before he said it and didn't have to be told so many times and oh why oh why is she telling me because I get it, already!*

M: *finishes explaining and looks to hubby* That was a very good point, you're very good at this! *over praising, here we come* Very good point!




Scene 4: Praise? Nope, it's a lecture. (repeat in those times when Alligator can talk to M without D around)

Alligator: *with M in the car* So in Liaffon, you know, my story, in order to make it as real as I possibly can, I went to Wikipedia and look out a rural town in Italy and I began to make a Wiki for my village.

M: *driving and nods* Well, you know if you like to you can pursue it... But don't tell your father because you know how he wants you to have a good career and take care of yourself, he's really trying hard, you know?

Alligator: *nods and secretly makes the "unsatisfied face" because M turned something that could have been a praise into a lecture about how I should appreciate my father, sure I do appreciate him but can't she at least use some of her breath to tell me I'm doing a good job and stuff like that?* *frowns a little and wonders how she had to twist it in that direction* *wonders why she wouldn't do the same for her daughter with praise the way she does it with her hubby*


Results:
I have a feeling my Mom doesn't know the difference between a compliment and a praise.



Whew, that was good to get out of the system...for now.

See ya later, alligators :)