Producized = turned into products like movies, books, and other forms of fun things we can buy to entertain ourselves (apparently it is not a word so let me just quickly own coiner ship for this ish, yep, I invented this word. Let's put that out there.)
My questions are, why is love turned into products? Why is it producized? Why do we need it to be producized? Why has it become producized? Are "people" (the ambiguous "them") afraid that we won't look for love or be involved in love if it isn't producized?
I know it's nice and all but some children grow up singing "some day my prince will come" (Snow White reference). I know it's good to teach children about love but isn't that some kind of natural human thing that we will end up doing even if we didn't have lovey products?
And let me just say, to me, love was romanticized because I almost believed that the love stories in Japanese manga (comics) would eventually come true with me too and when it didn't, that fantasy was realized and my life was ruined. Well, maybe not ruined but it may mark the day that I became a semi-realist. Manga are selling dreams that will NEVER come true. I mean, how many people actually end up with their Junior High School Sweetheart?
Okay, back on track. So what about love in the buying-stuff world, or in more professional terms cuz I AM a grad student, the consumer world?
A very easy example is, DISNEY. Now, don't get me wrong here, I do love Disney films and I'm not hating on them AT ALL. GO DISNEY! It's just an easy example for all of you alligators out there to understand.
Sleeping Beauty a.k.a Aurora meets her prince once after birth, once in the forest, and at last when she wakes up to his kiss and they get married.
Cinderella fakes her identity and meets her prince at a ball. The next time they meet they get married.
Snow White meets her prince by the well at the castle. The next time they meet she wakes up to his kiss and marries him.
The Little Mermaid a.k.a Ariel sees her prince from afar as he dances around in a boat, rescues him after that but they don't really meet, becomes human to meet him and falls deeper in love, when their love for each other is realized, they get married.
Belle a.k.a Beauty meets her prince who is a beast. Falls in love with said beast, turns him back to human, they kiss and she instantly marries him.
Do I need to be any more clear? Love is romanticized. A REAL love story will involve breakups, hardships, secrets, and other nitty gritties. You will NOT find THE guy and get married and live happily ever after WITHOUT hardships and other nitty gritties.
Basically, your Happily Ever After is not insured or ensured. Romanticized LOVE wants you to believe that it ALWAYS is but we all know, "ALWAYS" is a strong claim.
But why do we need to producize love? Why does it need to be sold? Can't we nod our heads and say, "Yes, falling in love is inevitable. We will do it even if we never knew how to do it. We will feel the love from family, friends, our community, our teachers and learn what it feels like to love."
I know we have always been taught to sugarcoat EVERYTHING when it comes to teaching children but I don't think we need to sugarcoat love. Love isn't always a happy ending and children will find that out sooner or later and when they do their world will come crashing down around them (like it happened with me).
Surely children from abusive families won't know how to love very easily BUT even if we show them a Disney film, don't you think that it won't make a difference? They KNOW about this reality so why send them into a make-believe world? Especially with something as real as love, it does not need to be presented in a make-believe world because it exists in the real world already.
Show a kid two elderly people holding hands taking a walk in the park.
Tell him that is what it looks like if two people really love each other, they will stay together until they are old and wrinkly.
Show a kid a boy and a girl holding hands. Show a kid a boy and a boy holding hands. Show a kid a girl and girl holding hands.
Tell him love has no boundaries. Tell him if he sees someone and he likes them and he feels a strong pull toward them, that is what love is (right? right.)
You don't need to show him love story Disney films that sugarcoat love.
Let me say it again, I'm not hating on Disney. Disney is wonderful. Love ya, Disney! :D
Of course Pixar, DreamWorks, other...uhm er, stuff, also sugarcoat love. Despite that fact and the fact that love is producized because we are taught to sugarcoat everything for kids even if it is happening in the real world, here are a few animated movies that are closer to the real world concerning love and hardships.
In no particular order...
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| Brave |
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| Inside Out |
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| Finding Nemo |
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| Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron |
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| The Secret Life of Pets |
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| Up |
Yes. These are the close-to-the-real-world's-love films that kids should watch. You might notice Finding Dory is not on the list but that's because it's not really about love although there is the unconditional love from Dory's parents it is not the main focus of the movie.
Up is probably the best one because it shows the death of a loved one in the first 10min of the movie. Talk about sudden deaths. Talk about movies that love to kill off the mother-figure in films. We might talk about that later :)
Anyway, my point is, love does not need to be producized because we are programmed to experience it no matter what. If we are shown sugarcoated love, sooner or later we will see real love and our world will come crashing down around us and we will go through a miniature panic. On the other hand, it can be producized but only in a real-world sense. No sugarcoating allowed.
So movies like Brave or Up or Inside Out show love in a real sense, with hardships and troubles and just very blah times. And that love doesn't need to be between a man and a woman. It can be toward a friend or toward home (as it was with Riley's case).
Let's show children that love is not about waiting for your prince to come or saving a damsel in distress. Let's show children that love can be all kinds of things and that it is not some make-believe fantasy element. Humans are programmed to love. No matter what we do, we will always find ourselves looking for love.
Sending love to all for an EXTREMELY LATE Valentine's :)
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| I didn't make this. Someone else knew there were people like me who delayed Valentine's Day. |
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